BJP: Penny's (Not) From Heaven

Penny Ramsey, picked right here as one of the pre-season favorites to win it all, became the tenth person voted out of Survivor:Thailand, in perhaps the best episode of what has so far been a lackluster edition of the Survivor franchise. She lived to eat her own words -- "What goes around comes around!" -- when she exposed herself (dream on you pervs, not that kind of exposing) by openly tearing down the last member of her original tribe, Ol' Man Jake. Loyalty? Feh! Once everyone realized that this Penny had at least two faces, it wasn't too hard to write her name on that slip of paper at Tribal. But then there's Clay.

PRE-SHOW ODDS

Penny

3-1

• Type: Drug Czar-ina
• Fitness: Cheerleading background provides limberness, high energy, and annoying "rah-rah" spirit
• Style: I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world, my life in plastic, it's fantastic!
• X-Factor: She must remember not to display any disgustingly fake 'cheerfulness,' especially after her tribe loses a challenge and no one will suspect that she is a threat to take it all
• Projected Status: Finalist
• FInal Status: Voted out #10, third on jury

POST-SHOW PROBSTOVICH

Of course, the problem with Penny is she didn't really say much, and she really didn't do much during her stint on Koh Tarutao. At least not in front of the cameras. Through the bloodshot, malnourished eyes of others such as Shii Ann and Ken, she was portrayed as an evil and manipulative master of puppets. But no one saw it in plain view until she turned on Jake, three different times. Don't get me wrong: in the context of this game, I like evil, I like manipulative. I like duplicitous. Like Machiavelli, though, I prefer all of these dishes to be served up smooth and slick, because in Survivor, the ends really do justify the means.

During my 15 minutes of being inside of Jeff Probst's head this week, I was looking forward to seeing if I could figure out what really made the Penn-ster tick.I hustled down to the end of the staircase and found Penny just about to board the boat when I called her over, "Hey, Ramsey, a penny for your thoughts?"

"Like I haven't heard that one before," she said, as she came over and kissed me on the cheek. "You know Jeff, I always wanted to do that."

Discounting the fact that she smelled like, well, she had been living far from a shower or mouthwash for thirty days, I'll admit she was a good looking woman, but she still wasn't enough to unseat Erin as queen babe of Koh Tarutao. But I realized that even in losing, she was still playing the game. "Well, Penny, thanks. You have a second for a few more questions?"

"Sure Jeff," Penny said.

"Can you believe it's over?"

"I really wasn't ready to leave the game."

"Were you surpised that you got voted out?"

"Well, I guess it's sort of a compliment that I was seen as a threat," Penny replied.

"What do you think of the six who are left?"

"They definitely kept the weak."

"You might go down in Survivor history as one of its greatest villains of all time," I said. "On a par with maybe even Jerri."

"Who, little ol' me? What did I do to deserve that?" Penny asked.

"You were in tribe with a 5-2 split, and you went for Jake, the only legitimate friend you had. Not once, but three times!" I said.

"Jake and I didn't really have an alliance anymore," Penny said.

"Oh no?"

"And I wanted them, the rest of the tribe, to see that."

"Well, do you think it worked?"

"Well, I guess, what goes around comes around," Penny replied. "So, yes."

"At least when we talk about past villians like Jerri, we got to know them a little bit. Why didn't you reveal more of yourself on the show?"

"Well Jeff," Penny started, "I think I did show who I was, especially during that torch-snuffing immunity challenge. I showed that I could be soft and sweet with people I liked, like Erin. And I showed that I could be tough and competitive with people I didn't like, such as Shii Ann."

"So you showed that you had at least two faces," I said.

"Maybe more. A girl can never have enough faces."

"So you're like the Imelda Marcos of faces?"

"Who?"

"Nevermind." I said. "OK, one last question. If you could have done anything differently, something that would have gotten you farther in the game, what would it have been?"

"Honestly, Jeff, I think I would have realized that being on Survivor is not like being in high school, where you get into a clique with the pretty and popular kids and exclude the others. I would have tried to develop an actual personality," Penny said.

"That's for sure," I said. "Thanks for your time, Penny. It's time for you to go."

And like that, my fifteen Probstovich minutes were over, and I was headed home until next week. Who will be voted out next, just so I can rag on them before they leave for good?

UP NEXT: Re-capping the Re-Cap

Copyright © 2002 Lawrence Green