BJP: Fire Woman Flames Out ... Yeah!

Stephanie Dill, the Arkansas firewoman, EMT, and erstwhile skinny-dipper with the sparkling personality (not!) became the fifth person voted out of Survivor:Thailand. Surprise, surprise. Her strategy of alienating herself from each and every member of the tribe came back to haunt her, and the only thing I had a question about was: why did it take them so long to get rid of her? Even worse, she made eggs yours truly's face because he had picked her as the favorite to win it all in preseason. Parable preached. Lesson Learned. Don't judge a book by its cover.

PRE-SHOW ODDS

Stephanie
2-1

• Type: Firestarter
• Fitness: Runs triathalons, rows canoes, leaps burning buildings in a single bound
• Style: Girls just wanna have fun
• X-Factor: If she hides her prodigious athletic abilities instead of rubbing them in everyone's face, she could go all the way
• Projected Status: Finalist
• Final Status: Voted off Number 5

POST-SHOW PROBSTOVICH

As someone with influence in the game, albeit just in tiny 15-minute bursts, I could do a few things to, let just say, influence a potential outcome. I could do something like give people a chance to change tribes, and change their fate. And did anyone take me up on the offer? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? Stephanie? Oh, alright so Stephanie wasn't the most strategic player we've ever had on "Survivor," but it was her voice which was truly annoying. If we had to endure one more week of that drawl and sneer of hers, I may have started wishing that would start choking her like he did to Clay.

Unfortunately, Stephanie will go down in "Survivor" history as one of the game's poorest players ever. And with folks like BB, Lindsey, Gabe, and Sarah in the running that's saying a lot.

So when I caught up Stephanie at the end of the Tribal Council dock, I tried to hold back my contempt (not!)

"Stephanie," I said, "What they hell where you thinking?"

"Huh?" she replied, "Piss on you!" She thought about it a moment. "Oh, Jeff, sorry. Lack of food can make you an ass, it really can!"

"What were you thinking? Your strategy in the game. It was terrible."

"You need a strategy?" she huffed. "What about food and water? What about that?"

"Well," I said, "you need that. But you have to get it in a strategic way."

"It wouldn't matter."

"Yes, yes it would have," I replied. "You could have been somebody. You could have been a contender."

My point was starting to sink in.

"You could have won the whole game. What do you have to say about that?"

She scratched her head. And started smiling. Then she started to speak, and finally responded exactly the way she has risen up to every single challenge during her time on the beach: she said nothing!

Thanks a lot!

"Stephanie, it's time for you to go. It's been a long time coming! When you get a personality call us."

My fifteen Probstovich minutes were over, and I was on my way back home until next week. Who will be voted out next, just so I can rag on them before they leave for good?

UP NEXT: Six Ways To Be A Loser

Copyright © 2002 Lawrence Green