(I'm not watching the Academy Awards tonight, first of all, because I'm a straight Black man. But come on, you have to admit that awards shows are boring, bullsh*t events at the end of the day. They're about as much fun as watching paint dry on a hot summer day. But since it's still the much-maligned Black History Month, I'd be remiss if I didn't devote at least one post to the gloriously mediocre annals of Black Academy Award history.

The basic premise of entertaiment historian Donald Bogle's 1973 book (reissued in 2001), "Toms, Coons, Mulattoes, Mammies, & Bucks", is that throughout its long, sordid history, Hollywood has limited Black roles to essentially a handful of deliberate types -- all described in the book's title. Worse than that is the fact that the first Black character to ever appear in a Hollywood film, way back in the day, was really a white actor in blackface. The year was 1903, and the film was "Uncle Tom's Cabin", and it defined the first character type that would eventually be set aside exclusively for actors of African descent. A "tom" is a good Black person, who often serves as the good conscience for a tormented white counterpart, and who's always there, selflessly, to h'ep massa out; a "coon" is a buffoon; the "tragic mulattoe" is the Black person of mixed heritage who'll be improved by the white portion of their blood; the "mammy" a usually overweight, always cantankerous Black woman; and the "buck" is the model for your essential universal suspect Black man who's probably best kept behind bars, or swinging from a tree ... don't be scurred. Historically, Blacks have rarely been given opportunities to play fully-fleshed out human beings in mainstream Hollywood movies, roles that fall outside of the handful of archetypes Bogle defined more than 30 years ago. All of this makes Jamie Foxx's portrayal of Ray Charles, in Ray, a potentially groundbreaking and historic opportunity.

Looking over the past winners, it's easy to slap one of the labels on each of the roles that won the top, or supporting Oscars. Since there are so few winners, I will go right ahead and do it: a struggling wife of a death row inmate who falls for the white racist cop who executed her spouse (tragic mulattoe), a crooked cop (buck), a phony psychic (coon), an insubordinate army private (buck), a hardassed drill sargeant (buck), an out-of-work construction worker (buck), and an all-knowing housekeeper named "Mammy" (yeah, that one's easy: mammy). While all of these performances are to be praised as fine examples of thespian artistry, and I'm not saying the actors should have turned down these roles (because heads have got to eat and a paying job is a good thing) I can't really say that any of the actual roles are inspiring, at least not to me. Art imitates life, and it also gives sheep cues for how to think. Since we're looking at patterns here that are well-defined and long-lasting, it isn't very difficult to me to figure out how America is supposed to feel about the bruthas and sistas. PS: Does Morgan Freeman, up for a supporting Oscar for his role as an old man who mops up the gym in "Million Dollar Baby," have a shot at winning tonight? Well, he fits into one of the roles, he's the good Black (tom), so yes, absolutely; he's got a fighter's chance.

Black Academy Award Winners

Halle Berry
Best Actress (2002)
"Leticia Musgrove"
Monster's Ball

Denzel Washington
Best Actor (2002)
"F.E.S. Detective-Sergeant Alonzo Harris"
Training Day

Russell Williams II
Best Sound (1991)
Dances With Wolves

Whoopi Goldberg
Best Supporting Actress (1990)
"Oda Mae Brown"
Ghost

Denzel Washington
Best Supporting Actor (1989)
"Private Trip"
Glory

Herbie Hancock
Best Original Score (1987)
Round Midnight

Lionel Richie
Best Song (1986)
"Say You Say Me"
White Nights

Stevie Wonder
Best Song (1985)
"I Just Called To Say I Love You"
The Woman In Red

Lou Gossett Jr.
Best Supporting Actor (1983)
"Sargeant Emil Foley"
An Officer and A Gentleman

Irene Cara
Best Song (1983)
"What A Feeling"
Flashdance

Isaac Hayes
Best Song (1972)
"Theme From Shaft"
Shaft

Sidney Poitier
Best Actory (1963)
"Homer Smith"
Lilies of the Field

James Baskett
Special Oscar (1947)
"Uncle Remus"
Song of the South

Hattie McDaniel
Best Supporting Actress (1939)
"Mammy"
Gone With the Wind

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(Congratulations! I remember hanging out with Noah, his wife Sonja, and Marc on the rooftop of that crazy SOMA salon/warehouse party back at the height of the DotCom boom. And he was always talking about audio, audio, audio. It's about time the blogosphere gets an easy way to add sound to the mix. Blogging needs real voices. (Registration required, or just bugmenot.) )

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